Lipstick

I wrote previously about the wonderful world of lipstick and the somewhat perplexing nature of it if you’re a dad, I was faced with a new challenge this week with my daughters asking for us to buy the wife some lipstick as a gift.  She was away on business and as all dads know it’s as much about survival when left in charge of the offspring and the first rule of being ‘alone in charge’ is that everyone needs to come out the other end of it with the same number of limbs they started with and alive.

Having kept everyone alive I was thus faced with the second rule of being a dad and that is to keep the kids entertained.  So after buying muffins and babychinos at our favourite non-global chain coffee emporium we were left wandering the streets deciding what to buy the Mrs as a little present from the girls to say that they missed her.  Not that she didn’t realise this of course, but it was an excuse to kill another hour before lunch.

So we found ourselves in the department store… wandering.  Until that is when we found the cosmetics department and the girls spotting the kaleidoscope of colour that is every cosmetics counter from around the globe and they made a beeline straight for it.  “Let’s buy mom a lipstick”.  Oh no, really..?

Now lipstick colour choosing is theoretically easy if you’re a dad.  It’s red.  Maybe pink if you’re going a bit out on a limb.  Every man knows who’s ever watched Robert Palmer’s music video ‘Addicted to Love’  that red is the all time sexiest colour ever.  (Backing dancers).  But how do you buy someone lipstick as a gift?  There’s skin tones, and shades and and more tones and that’s just the half of it.  There really needs to be a ‘basics’ range from the cosmetic guys so we don’t have to think about these things.  We should have cosmetic ladies who are a bit like gas station attendants asking “Is it Red or Pink mate?” a bit like “Gasoline or Diesel fella?”   It actually made me realise why women spend so much time shopping for these things because it’s a nightmare looking at it all.

lippy2

Does this not look like a flight deck of your average 747 transatlantic airliner?  We continued to browse the various colours and tones with the girls getting increasingly more excited and the variety on offer.  So is it shiny or matt, and what difference does it actually make?

Looking further, the choices on offer are just mind boggling and the colours don’t even look any different from one make to the next.  So is Revlon better than L’Oréal?  I’ve no idea, but they all have more or less the same colour choices.  Taking it a stage further they even go with offering the ‘same’ colour with four different names…

lippy4

See?  It’s the same colour?!  It’s no wonder it takes four hours to go shopping for one thing because you have to choose between a thousand options for effectively the same thing?!  Of course, there are experts out there who will tell you that you need to choose the right tone, the right mood the right ambiance to go with your aura or whatever, but isn’t that why we now need a small mortgage whenever we buy a coffee.  ‘Consumer choice’ has now become synonymous with ‘higher price.  When, in actual fact we only want to buy red, or pink.

……..In the end I gave up and went for the much safer option.

We bought her chocolate

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