Valentines varnish

It’s that time of year again when most dads venture to the card store to buy the Valentines Card, chocolates and if you’re really trying to impress, a bottle of perfume.  Well that’s how it usually plays out in the unfashionable house.  Of course there’s no getting out of it, for if you forget you’re a dead man, forever banished to the tool shed until her birthday or Christmas from which you may escape to redeem yourselves and make amends with the most expensive gifts you can afford.  To remind her you’re not a complete doosh bag whilst awaiting the inevitable recollection of ‘that time you forgot to buy me a valentines card’ which will forever remain permanently engraved like granite, worshipful engravings on the cave of her mind.

Well now is the time to get shopping my friends and this year we can try to go a bit left field.  Let’s get out there and show them we can actually put some thought into this (and here’s the best part) it’s really not that expensive to do!

I’ve written at length about buying makeup and have given ‘dad’ advice to the world on what to do from a dad’s point of view based on the idea that we buy paint quite a lot and it’s kind of the same thing.  So take a trip around your shopping mall and make a brave detour to the makeup section and you will discover the nail varnish!

Yes, nail varnish!  If you’ve ever been to a car body shop or restored or remodelled a car then you’ll be on familiar ground with this stuff.  In my ignorant opinion you can pretty much view this stuff as really expensive car paint test samples.  There is high shine, glitter, gloss, pearl effect, matt you name it the list goes on and the descriptions are not entirely different to what us dads are used to looking at and thinking about when choosing the next year’s model family SUV.

In terms of cost, you won’t break the bank with prices less than $10/£9, which you’ll agree is way cheaper than perfume or flowers.  Of course you’ll probably need to bundle this with other gifts (yeah go for boutique chocolates).


I went for Sally Hansen Miracle Gel which seemed to have some cool metallic colours and the bottles seem more bulky and give more of a sense of ‘gift bottle’ versus Rimmel, which appear to be the more old school styling and more everyday.  Also I have to admit I fell for the ‘end isle’ which is where the marketing guys try to grab your attention and as an unfashionable dad buying the wife nail varnish for the first time ever you’re going to choose what catches your eye, aren’t you?

This then got me to thinking, why don’t women colour match their car?  In fact why don’t car manufacturers sell nail polish?  How awesome would it be to step out of your classy little Citroen on the Champs Elysees with your nails matching your car?!  Cars are becoming more ‘designer’ with bespoke design cues and choice being the new opportunity to be an individual.  You can walk into your local BMW or Porsche and say ‘I want it in ‘this’ colour’.  So why not do it the other way round?  I guess if you’ve got white or black then this isn’t really going to work but my car is bright metallic orange!  So I’d like to get Mrs Unfashionable the same bright colour to wear.

And what colour did I choose?  A smokey metallic grey of course.  Why? Because I liked the colour, and if I can choose the colour of an entire car, then I’m sure I can’t do a bad job at choosing a colour for my wife’s nails.  Happy shopping and happy valentines day, make sure you don’t forget!!



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